It’s already seven days beyond my tutor’s deadline. I am recompiling for the umpteenth time dlib and opencv after multiple attempts. I have to clear my mind I am surrounded with detritus from the last 10 years in my workshop. I find bottles of tomato chutney from 2011 and noxious homebrew essences from previous production runs, dating back from five years ago. I collect together the various coloured alcoholic liquids of various colours to re-distil them and  bleach the distillation apparatus, running clean water through it.

Batteries are charged, the sink scrubbed, the floor lovingly brushed clean, I feel better already.

I should be working on my project, but I come to the conclusion it is no longer possible until I spend a little longer throwing out junk that distracts and holds me up. I have a tendency to hold useless articles. I find a hypnosis casette promising  dream solutions by Dick Sutphen in holophonic sound. The tape never worked on me. I even tried visiting a hypnotist to reduce my anxiety in 1986. He told me be treated Stephen Fry to reduce his stage fright but again, is treatment never worked on me.


I am reminded my past and feel ashamed at the same time, I feel energised a great weight has been lifted from me. I push aside the installation from my MA final exhibition to one side. I’m reluctant throat away in case some of my own self is thrown away as well. This is the battle I fight I’m sure some of you have discovered this for yourselves.

It is Saturday my T-shirt is filthy I’m sweating and stop for a cigarette. Ideas swirl in my mind I wonder how many will manifest in time for Monday.

A dusty motorcycle sits in the corner, untouched since my MA began. You need is a new rear wheel bevel box bearing. These are hard to fit the labour alone will cost £600, the parts at least £500.


This motorcycle took me to Nordkapp, 300 miles above the Arctic Circle midsummer four years ago. I returned with aching wrists and elbows.

The distillation unit rumbles into life,  spouting hot steam purging out strange musty that smells that clung to the stainless-steel vessel.

I hope that any impediments to my thinking will be removed in a similar way.


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